Prelude: I found out I was pregnant on tax day. We had an ultrasound after our trip to Montana in May and found out I was due on Christmas day. I expected him to arrive sooner as Lillian was born 10 days early. I would have bet money. Although, side-note, early on in the pregnancy I was getting gas and paying cash. It stopped at exactly $42 and when I got the money together, I handed the attendant exactly $42; one of the singles had the number 42 handwritten and circled on it. I immediately thought “oh no, that’s a sign I’m going to go to 42 weeks.” Thankfully that didn’t happen, instead he was born a day early. Another note: I had a dream while I was pregnant that I had a baby boy and when he was born he was very pale with little to no hair… talk about foreshadowing.
I had in mind how I wanted the birth to go with no expectations that it would happen. I was hoping it would start sometime around 5am shortly before Dan gets up and about 2 hours before Lillian gets up so they would both there; I wanted it to be short, about 4 hours, but long enough that everyone would make it in time; I wanted it to be in the water and as hands off as possible; I wanted to feel the fetal ejection reflex before pushing; I wanted to catch my baby; and I wanted to leave the placenta attached for at least an hour so he/she could get all of his/her blood. You’ll see it played out almost exactly how I wanted it to.
*In labor land time doesn’t exist so a lot of the times listed are based off of phone call records, text messages and photos. The only time I actually took note of was the time I woke up initially and when he was born*
Birth Story: December 23 into December 24 was one of the best sleeps I had had in a while. I didn’t wake up to pee at all which was very unusual at that point. Instead, I was awoken by a familiar feeling. A feeling I had been anticipating for a couple weeks. I had a few tightenings while I was sleeping, but didn’t open my eyes until maybe the third one when I decided to check the time and go to the bathroom. The time was 4:41. I got up and maybe had one more tightening but decided to get back into bed. By 5:30 or so I decided I should get up, pay attention to the contractions and eat something. First I fed the bunny because if you’re up at 5am, you must feed the bunny or you’ll feel the wrath of said bunny. As I’m getting his food ready, I’m continuing to get contractions and they’re starting the get more intense. I decided to start timing them at 5:32 and off the bat they were lasting about 30-50 seconds and only about 3 minutes apart. My app started yelling at me, telling me EMERGENCY this is TRUE LABOR get to the HOSPITAL. I just continued on eating breakfast and getting things ready. I woke up Dan telling him he wasn’t going to work today. His reaction “why?” I didn’t know it at the time, but he was being sarcastic and had planned to react in a different way but was too tired to remember what he wanted to say. I had him bring the pool down from upstairs along with all the other birth supplies. I also had him call my mom at some point to be on standby in case we needed her to come and entertain Lillian.
I gave the midwife Dina a call about 20 minutes or so after I started timing contractions. I told her I wasn’t sure if I was calling too early as I was still able to walk and talk through contractions, but given my previous labor, I figured I would give her a call sooner rather than later. She said she had not had her coffee yet and wasn’t able to think to decide if she should leave right away or not because she didn’t want to show up too early and so we decided to just keep in touch. I was worried people would show up too early too and it would slow labor, even though it was well established at this point. I tend to deny I’m in labor. I finished my breakfast and used the bathroom and while on the toilet I had the strongest contraction yet and as soon as it was done, Dina called me. I let her know it was intensifying and I think at that point she decided she’d be getting ready and start heading out. I called the photographer and let her know things had started and then I jumped in the shower. As I was coming out, Dina called again and I let her know it was still intensifying (I was no longer timing). I brewed some coffee between contractions but later discovered I screwed it up and it never went into the carafe (don’t brew coffee while in active labor!). I found this labor a lot harder to deal with. I wasn’t able to relax in the same way I did with Lillian’s labor. I was dreading each contraction and found it hard to breathe through them and find a comfortable position to get in. Some contractions felt best on my tippy-toes for some reason?
Around 7:10 Lillian woke up and Dan attended to her. At 7:14 I unlocked the front door and texted the photographer to let her know she could walk right in so she wasn’t standing out there waiting because I knew things were moving fast. I started feeling a lot of pulling in my lower back which was different from Lillian’s labor. By the time Dan and Lillian came out of the bedroom (7:16), I was starting to feel pushy. Lillian was SO sweet when she came up to me. She put her hand on my head and back and was so nurturing. The pool was in the process of filling and thank goodness Rebekah had pulled up when she did because I was starting to feel pushy. She listened to baby and said I could get in the water even though it wasn’t full yet. Dina came in shortly after Rebekah and right before I got in the water. I stepped into the water and it felt so good, but as soon as I lowered, I got a strong contraction and felt my body starting to push. I’d argue from the beginning I wasn’t in control, but by the time I got in the pool I really wasn’t in control. My body just took over. As my body pushed, I made the most noise I have ever made. I could hear myself but it was all unintentional. If you’ve ever seen the Polar Express and watched the scene with the Caribou and how the guy with the long beard screamed when the boy pulled his beard, you’d have a good idea of what I sounded like. There’s video of when I got in the pool otherwise I wouldn’t know, but Lillian was totally calm and cool during it all. She had her Jones Bar, her dada and her stuffed leopard. I prepared her well.
I was probably in the water for about 9 minutes or so when his head started crowning. I pushed his head out and a couple pushes later at 7:35am, about 21 minutes from the start of feeling pushy, my sweet boy was born into my hands. I brought him up right away and had such a wave of relief. He gave one little cry to let us know he was okay. Unfortunately, it appeared he had a nuchal cord and when trying to unwrap the cord, it snapped. I am still heartbroken over this. I don’t know when I will come to terms with it, but I just keep telling myself this is part of his story and he is strong and healthy. Dina took him and pinched his cord while Rebekah pinched the other end of the cord until Dina got the clamps and they clamped off both ends. As Dina was looking for the clamps, I got a good look and realized we had a baby boy! He was so content the whole time we were separated but I was sad to not be holding him. After about a minute of being separated, he was back in my arms. He was so beautiful with the perfect head and covered in vernix. He was also very pale (re my dream), I’m guessing because he didn’t get a chance to receive all his blood. The photographer showed up as Dina was handing him back to me. And I was worried I was calling everyone too early! As I was holding him, he had his hand up against his head and Rebekah mentioned that’s how he came out. I was stunned because Lillian was born with a hand on her head and her pushing phase was 2 hours long. Less than 30 minutes later I handed Nolan to Dan and the midwives helped me out of the pool to the shower then bed. At 8:06 he latched for the first time and nursed for over an hour. Meanwhile the midwives cleaned up and Lillian and Todd “assisted.” Once he was done nursing, they performed his newborn exam. He weighed 7lb 8oz and 19in. Rebekah heated up a leftover breakfast burrito for me to eat and they left us to start our lives as a family of four! We’ve just been falling more in love with him every day. Thank you for reading our story, enjoy the photos of our sweet boy from the first 3 weeks of his life!
